Friday, April 1, 2011

Mounty Python pt 22

Hungarian: [reading from a English-Hungarian dictionary] I vill not buy this record, it is scratched.
Tobacconist: Sorry?
Hungarian: I vill not buy this record, it is scratched.
Tobacconist: Uh, no, no, this... uh... tobacconist.
Hungarian: Ah! I vill not buy this *tobacconist*, it is sratched.
Tobacconist: Uh, no, no, tobacco... um... cigarettes.
Hungarian: Ja! "Ci-ga-ret-ta"! Uh... My hovercraft if full of eels.
[pause]
Hungarian: My hovercraft
[motions "cigarettes"]
Hungarian: is full of eels.
[motions "matches"]
Tobacconist: Oh! Matches! Matches.
Hungarian: Ja! Ja, ja. Uh... do you *WA*nt... do you *WA*nt to come back to my place? Bouncy, bouncy!
Tobacconist: I don't think you're using that right.
Hungarian: You great poohft.
Tobacconist: Uh, that will be 66 please.
Hungarian: If I said you had beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I... I am no longer infected.
Tobacconist: M-may I?
Hungarian: Ja! Ja!
[gives book to Tobacconist]
Tobacconist: Costs 6 and 6... costs 6 and... ah, here we are!
[Tobacconist says something in Hungarian, causing the Hungarian to punch him in the face. A police officer comes rushing into the store]
Police Officer: What's going on here then?
Hungarian: [to police officer] You have beautiful thighs.
Police Officer: What?
Tobacconist: He hit me!
Hungarian: Drop your panties, Sir William, I cannot wait till lunch time.
Police Officer: [angry] RIGHT!
[Hungarian dragged away by police officer]
Hungarian: My nipples explode with delight!

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