Monday, June 13, 2011

Monty Python pt 3

'Thrust' Presenter: Good evening. I have with me tonight Anne Elk. Mrs. Anne Elk.
Miss Anne Elk: Miss.
'Thrust' Presenter: You say you have a new theory about the brontosaurus
Miss Anne Elk: Can I just say here Chris for one moment that I have a new theory about the brontosaurus.
'Thrust' Presenter: Exactly.
[long pause]
'Thrust' Presenter: Well, what is it?
Miss Anne Elk: [looks around, concerned] Where?
'Thrust' Presenter: No, no, your new theory.
Miss Anne Elk: Oh, what is my theory?
'Thrust' Presenter: Yes.
Miss Anne Elk: Oh, what is my theory that it is. Well, Chris, you may well ask me what is my theory.
'Thrust' Presenter: I am asking.
Miss Anne Elk: Good for you. My word yes. Well, Chris, what it is that it is - this theory of mine. Well, this is what it is - my theory that I have, that is to say, which is mine, is mine.
'Thrust' Presenter: Yes, I know it's yours, what is it?
Miss Anne Elk: [looks round again] Where? Oh, what is my theory? This is it.
[clears her throat at length]
Miss Anne Elk: My theory that belongs to me is as follows.
[clears her throat very noisily and violently]
Miss Anne Elk: This is how it goes. The next thing I'm going to say is my theory. Ready?
'Thrust' Presenter: [exasperated] Yes.
Miss Anne Elk: My theory by A. Elk, brackets, Miss, brackets. This theory goes as follows and begins now. All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much much thicker in the middle, and the thin again at the far end. That is my theory, it is mine, and it belongs to me, and I own it, and what it is, too.
'Thrust' Presenter: That's it, is it?
Miss Anne Elk: Spot on, Chris.
'Thrust' Presenter: Well, uh, this theory of yours appears to have hit the nail on the head.
Miss Anne Elk: And it's mine

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